Thanks, you Putz

Seattle Mariners closer J.J. Putz hit Tampa Bay Rays' stud 3rd Baseman Evan Longoria and fractured his wrist. I'm celebrating. If that's news to you it's because you don't know that the crappy ol' Tampa is the league leader in the AL East, where both fans and foes of my beloved Red Sox expect Boston and New York to be upholding their classic duel. But that's not the case in 2008. Somehow the scappy bunch of no-names (subjectively speaking, ace lefty Scott Kazmir is the only one worth knowing from a disinterestedly piqued standpoint) is ahead by 4 games with about 7 weeks left of the season. This was bad news for those wishing to see Boston pull the repeat, still basking the glory of breaking a long World Championship draught.

But now the not much younger but much better paid young fella who's helped the Rays hold on to first place for so long is hurt, thanks to Putz, whose Mariners were more or less embarassed by the AL East's toppers on the Rays' recent trip to sunny Seattle.

Enemies of Freedom a.k.a. Boston-haters are reeling, laughing at me, spitting in my face while their Bronx lamas are 9 games out of 1st. Why? Because they are saying "Look at that faggot fuck Boston fan. That smarmy shiteater is content taking a title, a pennant even, for his team now that their competition is beat up? Fuck that chowder eating bisexual." Well, kind, hypothetical sir, I retort by saying that this is merely a karmic crackerjack prize for what happened 2 years ago, when half the team was hurt, a third got the plague, and the leftover 2 infielders got drafted, Toronto finished ahead of us in the standings, and the friggin Cardinals went on to win it all. WTF, mate? Up until the crash the team was playing like contenders, with an 11 game win streak at one point highlighted by (you remember it) Coco Crisp's defensive gem in center field against the Mets. Of course, with every other game getting rained out, the city's morale was spiraling down like fall becomes winter and then the Celtics had their worst season ever (fact check?) Of course, they turned it around this year.

Anyway, Cheers to JJ Putz, from someone who can't help but care more about the Red Sox winning than about my first born, 3rd puppy purchased, and re-animated grandparents (or the possibility of such madness) combined. Next time aim for Upton cause he kills us!