real quick

"Fantasy Baseball Update from Chicago because the HDVD of The Departed froze 10 minutes in."
a.k.a.
"Idiot Lessons: Part B"

Ok. I've been on the road for four days but I've had internet access everywhere...and I forgot to start Philadelphia ace Cole Hamels tonight. Before I discuss his stats, I must admit that mere hours ago, I was trashing Mr. Hamels and of course Brad Lidge (Philly's closer) for fucking up my f-team's (the L.A. Riotsquad...not the most creative name but I also am in a league of strangers so I can't be the Midnight Mungers and get any appreciation for it) ERA from an awful April (and Lidge's continuing woes despite some recent saves). Essentially I put all the blame on being in dead last in the Yahoo league on my Philly pitchers.
And tonight he goes to L.A. and pitches a motherfucker of a shutout. I see this and instantly have a mild panic attack: Did I have him in the starting rotation?
I get scared and turn on the computer. Fuck Fuck Fuck. I knew it was bad when I saw what the Yankees did to my newly acquired Texas Ranger, Brandon McCarthy (6 ER, 4 IP). And OF COURSE he was starting. And Cole Hamels was benched. 9 IP, O ER, 5 H, O BB
Fuck my life. The icing on the cake, as if my sweettooth hadn't already been yanked from mine gums????
Starting for the L.A. Riotsquad as he does everyday, the Jays' Alex Rios. What might he have done today to top it all off? Howabout 0-5 with 5 FUCKING STRIkEOUTS!!!!!!!! I'd call that a Flaming Sombrero.

Luckily none of this matters, because I rep the JD Drew-tang clan, and he went 0-1...but...wait for it...4 walks, an RBI and a run! I will take it. In dead last I remain. :(

Also, Randy Johnson's son is named Tanner. Randy got Win #300 vs. Washington. Too bad he plays for the gayest team in baseball. Oh wait, that's NYY, featuring Lee Teixeira's husband at first base.

mOral of the story: Cole Hamels still has 'it' and I need to find a better way to channel my hatred for Brad Lidge. Yet I just can't drop him from the Riotsquad. Fucking paradox, as Nicholson was saying before the HDVD player went kaputz. (Sidenote: how High was Jack at the Lakers/Magic game tonight? He displayed jazz fingers after many of Mr. Bryant's baskets, I will have to try to find the video of that tomorrow cause it was fucking hilarious)

"Geez...she fell funny." the departed

Victory of the Century

Kevin Youkilis: Keeping the sexy out of Major League Baseball.

'Me score big run!'

My favorite commercial ever aired (U.S. only)

Yeah, You remember this one...cause it was fuckin good. And for you sports lovers out there, tell me...How Many of these Ferocious Competitors will be seen in their respective sports' championships? I'd go 1 in 12 odds that Big Ben of the Steelers is the only one with half a chance...of course, by now I know that Mariano, Albert, and Torii are out of the mix. Urlacher shoulda done his thing to the Colts but DIDN'T...
LT, the tailback halfback runningback extrordinaire? Well, he's another story. PLEASE NOTE that David Fincher has directed the films: SEVEN, THE GAME, and FIGHT CLUB.



To dissect this would be a slapintheface to art, but I will say this: The world and life as we know it are wild, far from definable concepts that one can only experience, hope to experience, or be taught the method to the madness...leave nothing behind, you can't take it with you. Listen to this and think about it while you find some images of either: Faegan's, Dolce, or the doom fortress WATSON HALL...

Oh, did you ever notice Citysearch.com? If they paid me I'd be more inclined to promote them and their "this bar is good for cheap drinks, karaoke and kissing!" mantra, but alas...they are quite helpful when you live in this big City. Spelling the names of the Sushi places is a different story...somebody get that site a fuckin spellchecker!