escape

Greetings + Salutations. Whilst I work on some serious (cough) literature, I decided it best to at least keep the site looking as if someone cares about it. So I'll post videos upon videos and recommend visual entertainment until I'm chicken cordon bleu in the face. How's this for a start?



I like watching the puddles gather rain, but thanks to good old S.O., I prefer watching BBC's/Simon Pegg's "SPACED." (embedding disabled by request...Laaaaame)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szJ07k-cHqU

Very happy to be aware of this brilliant bit of British humour. And since I don't have time (cough) to write about it in detail, here's someone elses take. (click on pic)

5555

5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem

...it's a hot day. I fully recommend getting messy and possibly embarking on a similar, animated, music-infused adventure.

Welcome to the Future

When traveling from Chicago to Springfield, MA, one has limited options where to stop for the night. There's Cleveland, which would've been fun if the Cavs were in the NBA Finals. There's Buffalo, which I can't imagine being too fun when the colleges are out of session. Then there's Erie, PA, featuring the Presque Isle Downs & Casino. The Road Warriors chose Erie, given that we were hungover, had already gone 450 miles or so, and love gambling.

After checking into a motel across the street, we walked over around 11:30pm, joining the massive crowd of 8 or 9 slot players, one waitress, one bartenders, and a couple drunks. We found the exact machine pictured above, and decided to give it a try, though Blackjack has never been as good to me as Hold 'Em or NFL betting.

So these machines are great, aside from the fact that they're certainly not helping the unemployment rate and may one day turn against humans Terminator-style. The virtual dealers rotate like real dealers, so we started with some smarmy jackass who was quickly replaced by an attractive Asian chick who busted about 85% of her hands, which is amazing. Then there were a couple of failed-stripper types, one of which hit a 7 card 21 and had all 3 of us at the table dropping the worst of 4-letter words. BUT YOU SEE, that's the beauty of it. Based on my time at other casinos, I'd say it's a safe bet that if you were to call an actual person the things we were calling (and flipping off) the machine on Sunday night, we'd get booted in a heartbeat. AND there's the fact that for once I actually made some money playing, when it seemed at first like a machine could easily be rigged to give the House better odds (though my neighbor assures me the Gaming Commission would never let that happen, I still have my doubts).

So automated robotics began "helping" our lives at the grocery store with express checkout, and now it's moved into the Casino realm. I'd like to predict the trend will next move into the education realm so that already underpaid teachers will become obsolete, followed by an eventual SkyNet takeover. I look forward to working 20 hour days at the behest of my lovely robot wife to save up for my robot kid's $50 million education at Syracuse.com.

Ohhh Yes

(from Sports Guy's World)

Q: I don't even care if we win the title or lose it. My goal is to dress for every Finals game like a cross between the manager of an elite strip joint, a mafia don, a porn producer, Paul Bearer and Richard Lewis. Any other suggestions?
-- S. Van Gundy, Orlando, Fla.

SPORTS GUY: Johnny Cash. You might want to work some Johnny Cash in there.

Paul Bearer a.k.a. Percy Pringle

Are you fucking kidding me? R.I.P. Grasshopper

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/06/05/carradine.death/index.html

real quick

"Fantasy Baseball Update from Chicago because the HDVD of The Departed froze 10 minutes in."
a.k.a.
"Idiot Lessons: Part B"

Ok. I've been on the road for four days but I've had internet access everywhere...and I forgot to start Philadelphia ace Cole Hamels tonight. Before I discuss his stats, I must admit that mere hours ago, I was trashing Mr. Hamels and of course Brad Lidge (Philly's closer) for fucking up my f-team's (the L.A. Riotsquad...not the most creative name but I also am in a league of strangers so I can't be the Midnight Mungers and get any appreciation for it) ERA from an awful April (and Lidge's continuing woes despite some recent saves). Essentially I put all the blame on being in dead last in the Yahoo league on my Philly pitchers.
And tonight he goes to L.A. and pitches a motherfucker of a shutout. I see this and instantly have a mild panic attack: Did I have him in the starting rotation?
I get scared and turn on the computer. Fuck Fuck Fuck. I knew it was bad when I saw what the Yankees did to my newly acquired Texas Ranger, Brandon McCarthy (6 ER, 4 IP). And OF COURSE he was starting. And Cole Hamels was benched. 9 IP, O ER, 5 H, O BB
Fuck my life. The icing on the cake, as if my sweettooth hadn't already been yanked from mine gums????
Starting for the L.A. Riotsquad as he does everyday, the Jays' Alex Rios. What might he have done today to top it all off? Howabout 0-5 with 5 FUCKING STRIkEOUTS!!!!!!!! I'd call that a Flaming Sombrero.

Luckily none of this matters, because I rep the JD Drew-tang clan, and he went 0-1...but...wait for it...4 walks, an RBI and a run! I will take it. In dead last I remain. :(

Also, Randy Johnson's son is named Tanner. Randy got Win #300 vs. Washington. Too bad he plays for the gayest team in baseball. Oh wait, that's NYY, featuring Lee Teixeira's husband at first base.

mOral of the story: Cole Hamels still has 'it' and I need to find a better way to channel my hatred for Brad Lidge. Yet I just can't drop him from the Riotsquad. Fucking paradox, as Nicholson was saying before the HDVD player went kaputz. (Sidenote: how High was Jack at the Lakers/Magic game tonight? He displayed jazz fingers after many of Mr. Bryant's baskets, I will have to try to find the video of that tomorrow cause it was fucking hilarious)

"Geez...she fell funny." the departed